I don't usually like to write posts because I feel like the the things I have to say never come out quite right when I try to portray them through words.
But I suppose it's worth a try.
The most important things I've learned so far and will continue to learn is that my life is totally incomplete without God. The first two months I was here I forgot the importance of this... and I suffered because of it. Right now I am learning to hear God's voice. It's easy to forget that God speaks to us. It's difficult to make the effort to really listen to Him. I suppose it's this way because it makes life easier for us (kind of) when we don't have to "check in" with someone all the time.
I think we get like that in our relationships too. If we aren't constantly communicating with our friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends... we are going to forget the importance of it and that relationship is going to be weak. If God holds the most importance in my life then it just makes sense I will constantly be talking to Him and including Him in EVERYTHING. In my relationship with Tyler, even though he can't always be with me especially not now, I want him to know everything. If we were together all the time then I would talk about everything with him.
I guess I didn't realize that God really is with us all the time... or maybe I just ignored it.
Lately I have been trying really hard to ask God, or at least listen for His voice, in EVERY situation. It isn't always easy but the more I try the easier it gets.
God doesn't just speak to us about big things but He's talking to us all the time and it's our responsibility to learn to hear His voice. Once I learn to hear Him in small things (which meat to choose, which street to run on, what time to do this or that, how to say something, if i should say something) then I will become more confident with bigger things (life decisions, bold actions to take, direct words from God to speak to others).
I think I would get frustrated sometimes because I wanted God to make big things happen in my life... well that is so selfish for me to think God would work in my life when I was hardly seeking for His voice. I would sometimes, but sometimes just isn't enough.
I guess right now I am just really concentrating on making my life a prayer. It's not like every time I make a decision I'm on my knees asking for direction, but just that I'm always aware God is speaking to me... and if I'm not sure then I'll ask.
It's kind of trial and error at the beginning but I'm really starting to understand this relationship better.
